I am looking out of a window on the 7th floor boardroom of an office building overlooking Saint Paul’s cathedral 50 yards away, and reflecting on the contrast between the two types of temple in such close proximity. One dedicated to love and devotion, and one to money.
Ten minutes ago we had finished a session with an exec group on leadership role modeling and how leaders create the weather in an organization. Typically for people at this level the group was spiky. Very sharp and quick thinking, getting the point before the sentence is finished, and unforgiving with a word out of place. And wary and nervous about being exposed in some way. Strong armour protected each of them.
I had met the actors I was working with beforehand in a local coffee shop, and had immediately noticed a heightened sense of anxiety. The commissioners of the work had been over-controlling the design right up to the last minute betraying how much this meant for them personally, and this added pressure had leaked over. I hoped that my energetic prep work in the weeks before had helped – humbly greeting and honouring the souls of everyone involved – and found 5 minutes alone before entering the building so that I could connect and say hi to the guardians and spirits that look after this part of London, as well as the angel for the organization. I come in peace. My intentions are good. Please help.
In rehearsal I found myself getting triggered by the client and went somewhere to be by myself for 10 minutes. As usual this ended up being in a cubicle and I went through my routine – feeling the earth under my feet, arms outstretched, gathering myself, breathing – and I slowly got to the point where I remembered why I was here and to get out of my own way. It’s not about me. How can I serve? What is needed? I locked in my inner smile.
Feeling better resourced and distanced from the edgy vibe I re-entered the space and waited for show time.
Almost immediately we got into a good groove as we met each other one by one. I noticed that they liked to play and we found a humorous edge with the material. I felt myself sensing and noticing, working with the mood and energy in the room, keeping a high pace and mirroring what needed to land. I was aware of the group and of the individuals in the group as well as the ghosts in the room. I held the space, feeling ease and flow where sometimes it is stuck and difficult.
The session went well. In my happiness I forgot to offer thanks straight away and picked this up on the train home. Now for reflection. Had I held my own ego in check? Was I too pleased with how it had gone and the positive feedback? Partly and maybe. Am I hoping it leads to more work, and is this bad? Yes, and no because I have to earn a living and I think that my intention is well set. Is my approach simply a sophisticated coping mechanism? Possibly, but who cares as it seems to work.
Fifth column companioning. Working implicitly rather than explicitly. Being a companion rather than contracting as a companion. Having an open heart in places where hearts are generally well hidden. In wonder at the beauty of all that life is, even in a toxic and poisoned part of an ancient City.
Phil Roberts