This blog comes from Diana Forrester Brown, our administrator at the Spiritual Companion Trust
Last year, I had two heart attacks.
A “Normal” Day Turned into a Life-Changing Moment
My first happened on a Monday, which I basically overcame by doing some deep breathing and my usual practice of connecting with my higher self, and what I call The Source. I will add that at the time I didn’t actually realise that what was occurring was a heart attack. I felt unwell and connecting with Source is my automatic go-to place. I recovered within an hour or so, felt fine, and never thought anymore of it.
The following day was just a normal day for me. I was up early to go for my early morning 4-mile walk. Followed by a busy day of room changeovers in the B&B I run with my husband, Chris. Followed by some time in the office, an exercise class, a trip to the post office, and then back to the office. All in all, an ordinary day for me.
Around the same time of day, early evening, I had similar symptoms to those of the previous day, but this time a little more severe. A tightness across my upper chest, shoulders, down my arms and up into my throat. It felt like I was being filled with air. My breathing was fine, I was able to take deep breaths.
Chris insisted that we call 999, but I managed to persuade him to call 111 instead. He was put on hold for over an hour and in that time, I was once again able to do my deep breathing and to connect with my higher self, the Source, asking for help with what ailed me.
When he finally got through to 111, and after the relevant questions were asked and answered, an ambulance was dispatched. The very nice ambulance peeps did several ECGs, after which I was told I needed to go to hospital for some tests and that I would be in for a few days. I had to be wheeled to the ambulance (they wouldn’t let me walk). At this point, there was no mention of my having a heart attack.
We had a noisy and speedy journey with flashing lights and sirens to the hospital, and I assumed I was going to be parked in a corridor in A&E for the next few hours until I got to the front of the queue. I mentioned this as we exited the ambulance whereupon I was told, “Oh no, love, you’re going straight into surgery as you’re having a heart attack.”
Finding Calm in the Face of Surgery
My first thought was, Oh, that’s a bit inconvenient, but it’s not so bad. If I could choose a way to pass over, a heart attack is not the end of the world and it’s better than the big C or Alzheimer’s or some lingering ailment that slowly diminishes one’s life force. An odd thought I know, but it’s what I thought.
I’d always said that I wasn’t afraid of dying whenever the subject cropped up in conversation, but I guess we never really know how we would feel until the event is upon us. We just have an idea of how we think we would feel. Well, I observed myself and felt into how I was feeling.
I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t worried. I was however very curious as to what these highly trained medical people were going to do to me. I felt incredibly calm, almost like I was observing what was going on from outside my body. I also felt very blessed to be awake whilst a surgeon operated on my heart. It was a privilege to be able to see my heart beating on this huge screen and to see what the surgeon was doing, and to be able to ask questions.
One of the main arteries in my heart was completely blocked. The surgeon unblocked it and fitted a stent. I was then monitored for two days to make sure my heart didn’t reject the stent. Two days later I went back into surgery where they ballooned the stent to push it into the artery to stop it from moving. Once again, I linked in with my guides and the Source. I felt no fear and was just very calm and curious about the whole procedure. I am in awe of the medical team and how well they work together. They were more than happy to answer any questions I had. At the end of the procedure, my surgeon said that he had performed thousands of these operations and that I was the best patient he had ever had.
I left hospital later that day feeling much better than I had a few days beforehand. I’m sure that my daily connection with Source and being able to access that connection so quickly helped me enormously during my time of trauma. I think my higher self just took over so that I was able to make the most of the treatment being given to me. Right through my stay in hospital, my vitals were normal.
Nine Months Later: Another Unexpected Heart Attack
Now . . . Fast forward 9 months from that heart attack to Christmas Day 2024 just gone. (In those nine months I did a lot of research and explored, and am still exploring, different therapies for heart conditions and general health.) And on Christmas Day I had another heart attack. It came completely out of the blue, no warning. Hubby called 999 straight away this time.
Back to hospital, back into surgery, more blockages in my arteries. This second time I knew what to expect and I prepared in the same way as before – breathe and connect with Source. Balloons were added to the stent. New meds were given which will hopefully work better than the last ones, some of which I stopped taking after 3 months because they made me feel so ill. In this second heart attack, I was kicking myself, thinking I’d f**ked up by trusting my gut feeling and stopping those meds I didn’t like. I shared with my surgeon that I had stopped some of the meds and he told me that this second episode would have occurred anyway, no matter what.
Insights from My Journey
Nine months on and after this second experience, I have some reflections and insights. My daily connection to Source is without doubt the most sustaining aspect of my life and I am hugely grateful to have learned this. I will be forever grateful to my friend, William Bloom, who helped me find my own spiritual practice.
The most challenging part of the whole process was when I felt that one of the medical teams was not listening to me. They were trying to make me take meds which I knew were bad for me. To thin my blood, they wanted to pump me with statins, when my research had shown that there was clear medical evidence that statins were contraindicated for post-menopausal women and could cause harm. The following is in no way a criticism of the NHS. We are very lucky to have this service in this country. However, standing one’s ground and championing what we know to be right for us, whilst in a vulnerable position, is crucial when dealing with mainstream medicine. The feeling of not being listened to and my views not being acknowledged or respected was for me the hardest aspect of both of my stays in hospital. I am instinctively a fighter for my rights, and I am very concerned for those people who do not have the strength or confidence to clearly assert their needs, especially when they are already weak and vulnerable.
Looking Ahead
I am now back at home, back to my normal routine, enjoying life to the full, walking early in the morning in nature as this is the best way for me to connect. I have been resting and I will be slowing down my wonderful, hectic life. As much as I am not afraid to pass over, I would like to remain in this mortal coil for a while longer.
For me, my New Year’s motto is: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Wishing you all a wonderful life.